Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Glitter @ HotFreeLayouts.com
Site Meter

today has been a great day

but for some reason i just want to cry or i am feeling very snappy. i am controlling it though which is good.

woke up at 6 this morning and then kids woke up about 10 minutes later. opened presents and had a nice day. kids loved their toys and the clothes all fit :D

well i guess i should go to bed even though i don't want to

Friday, December 21, 2007

Glitter @ HotFreeLayouts.com
Site Meter


lol ohh i crack myself right up.

well i have a busy day ahead of me LOL what fun. first i have gleaners (nothing like free food) and then i have to get xrays of my neck (yes yes i haven't done that yet) and then call my physical therapy and reschedule the appt i made because i accidentally made the appt for the same day as my doc appt LOL oopsie. then i have to drop scripts off at pharmacy, then come home get ashley and i ready, drop ashley off, go for my walk (i have to do this come hell or high water) and then clean (NOT!!!!!!!) LOL.

SO THAT IS MY DAY IN A NUTSHELL ohh and OMG i need to go xmas shopping LOL yah that is right still haven't done that yet. what is wrong with me but i am so not in the mood to go shopping. okay i hate shopping but i usually love to xmas shop. well i am sure once i start then i will have fun even if i can only get a few gifts.

ps: sandra, i love you gf!!!! and you are always in my prayers.


i have pics to post but i am to lazy and impatient today to do it LOL

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Glitter @ HotFreeLayouts.com
Site Meter


i guess it's been a while LOL. sorry all just didn't have much to say lol.

shoot i don't even know what to say now lol.

soooo lets see. we have our good insurance now WAHOOOO and i have a new doctor :D that i went and saw on the 11th of this month. it was a great visit too although to short since i had to be back to pick the kids up in time for school.

anyway she order xrays for my neck, and physical therapy for my neck and back. i have to call the insurance to find out what the co pay is for these things since we are so broke right now. also i was very honest with her in how i am feeling and felt in the past and she had me fill out this questionaire thing and it showed that i am in fact bipolar which is what i have thought for a long time. so now i am on meds (abilify and seroquel) and i hope that they get me on track because i am sick to death of feeling this way. i am supposed to call a psychiatrist because they are the experts on this and also a councelor to talk about it all LOL. again i need to find out co pay for this before i can do it.

bipolar (what does it mean to me?): well it means depression right now with some highs in the middle (called a mixed state). anyway some days i am so down that i just want to run away from it all and some days i am ok and get tons done but yet still feel so sad at the same time. hard to explain. i have been on really good highs in the past where i got everything done, spent money like crazy, and had lots of sex. when you are on that manic part it doesn't seem like anything is wrong. It's when you get the down side that you realize something is wrong and that you need help. both the depression and the mania comes with me being very irratable. i can be in a totally fine mood and then a certain thing can set me off and i will be screaming. sometimes i feel like i have this rage that just builds up and wants to lash out at anything. i can't even describe the feeling.

okay on to some good news :D

i called my insurance :D and found out that i have NO copay for the xrays and physical therapy :D i am soooo STOKED. i do have a copay for the psychiatrist and the therapist but they can be reduced from 30 to 15 once i see the psychiatrist and he confirms my docs diagnosis. i love having real insurance :D

for me i am doing okay, hangin in LOL. i have been walking EVERYDAY MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY :D and although i haven't lost weight i have lost inches. my original measurements when i first started walking were HIPS: 42.........WAISTE: 36.............CHEST: 42.........AND now my HIPS: 40.5............WAISTE: 35.........CHEST: 40.5

SO NEEDLESS TO SAY I AM VERY HAPPY :D with those results. i could stay at 180 for the rest of my natural life as long as i am losing inches LOL

OHH the kids are doing great, although i am very frustrated with dyllan and school. uggh but we are working on it LOL and ashley is reading now :D just short words like MY, LIKE, AM, SEE etc etc.

so there ya have it and sorry i haven't updated in so long LOL just haven't wanted to write.